sensitive as an open wound…
tired of being like that. i keep telling myself, i should think less about myself, perhaps that way i would be much much happier than now. but i keep failing over and over again. and now here i am again, at the condition where i feel rejected and unwanted, it triggers me to feel lonely. and when i feel lonely, it’s the perfect time for me to feel that all i have left is God.
it’s just a simple thing that’s going on with me, but somehow it’s the bitter root within me that can’t let me be allright. I feel that if i can excuse many things just to be with a person, why can’t he/she do the same thing. I feel sick of myself once again. Great, after a very good news i receive this afternoon, another thing lets me down, i guess there will never be a prime condition where someone can feel totally happy with all things.
God, i complain too much. i know it’s not good for own heart, but i need to let this thing go. please make my heart wise. wise enough not to make a stupid decision. i need to think of other’s importance instead of just my own. i need to be mature. i need to let go, as it feels harder than the first time.
feel like taking all the words back and just disappearing.
Leave a Reply